Wednesday, January 9, 2013

New again

I'm pretty sure that someone I know made a new year's resolution to be nicer/friendlier. It's kind of funny (and fun, and pleasant) to be on the receiving end; she wasn't necessarily evil, or anything, before, but she's noticeably nicer these days. Do you think it will last? I'm trying to be supportive by being a happy receiver of her chipper greetings and her new "so how are YOU doing?!" efforts and also trying to make a point of giving back even more random friendliness to her.

Meanwhile, this could be the first year of my life (since about, maybe, age 12 or so?) that I haven't really made any resolutions. Nope. No grand (nor quiet) pronouncements on New Year's Eve, no carefully composed nor hastily scribbled list. I did say that my goal would be to have a party at some point this year (it's been since about forever that we've had a party, unless you count Dean's birthday parties which I don't think I am going to count), and I'd really like to make that happen. But otherwise, nope.

It's not that I lack for self-improvement ideas, or more, um, meaningful goals than throwing a party.

It's more that I've decided to trust myself. Yup, it's a good idea to get up and take a walk whenever possible. I know which foods to eat more of and which less. Getting more organized would always help, as would finishing up projects. But I don't need to make lists and feel guilty and give up or whatever. I just need to enjoy life and be happy and balance doing the things I know I should, the things I need to do, the things I want to do. Do it because it's right/meaningful/necessary (or decide purposefully what NOT to do), but not because it's on a list hanging over my head.

As I get older, I am slowly appreciating more that being happy is what matters, and that there are all kinds of voices in my head that I need to shut OUT in order to just enjoy life. That nagging vague dissatisfaction (which can get driven by making too many lists!) is the thing that I am trying to cast out. Not getting all hyper-ventilate-y over having things go a certain way. Whatever! It CAN be all good, if that's how I decide to look at things.

Who knows how often I'll get here to post? I like being able to come here sometimes and look back at where I've been, and that's my incentive to keep putting things here from time to time. Happy to have you along for the ride, if and when your own spirit moves you.


And I may still do a 2012 in review here, because there's no such thing as "too late."

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