September 4

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September three

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September two

 

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September one

I am jumping back in with a 30-day challenge; I will be taking a photo a day for the month of September (with the goal of telling the very story of this particular September) and posting them here each day. We'll see if that jump-starts me, on several levels.

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I invite you to come along; no rules or regulations, no point at which the 30-day count must start or end. Just challenge yourself to do something every day for a month and see where it takes you.

What comes

Hope where it may be found, joy where it may be allowed in.

At least the days are longer

Recognizing a sense of unrest in myself; waiting for things to unfold. It's been an itchy, confining last half of winter and I can't even remember the last time the roads were clear enough to go out for a walk. (There are no sidewalks in our area, so in winter when the roadsides are choked with snow it's not safe to walk AND you run the risk of being spattered head-to-toe by passing cars.) I hate feeling complainy about the weather, but I'm ready for change.

First day of spring, out my back door....

Begin

Warm, moist breezes are pulling back the blanket of snow and releasing the sprouting bulbs I planted last fall (transplanted, actually, from our old house). I savor the rush of emotions; winter is letting go, spring is rushing on, and we are settling in more and more to a place we are making our own. The best kind of change is surrounding us.

Snoh

Even after all the blizzards we've had this winter, these surfaces were all pretty clear until today.... Wish we could have friends over to play in it with us and help us remember the fun parts of snowy days!

what you want to see more of

I had a fantastic birthday. Truly. I will admit to some measure of pre-birthday indifference (which is not my usual style); I didn't wallow, I just kind of *noticed* it and moved forward.

I went ahead and made chocolate cupcakes with Kahluha buttercream frosting, Ken took the day off from work, and Dean had a late-start school morning so we were able to ease into the proceedings.

We take all kinds of little back roads, and pass through several old town centers (the parts of some very historic towns -- you see lots of "Established 1698" signs and that sort of thing -- that are on what were once main roads but are now the backwaters) on our way to Dean's school every day, and my plan for my birthday was to do some exploring. We parked, got out of the car, and went into one-of-a-kind, local shops where the owners are there working behind the counter. We had lunch in a place that never was and never will be part of a chain (charmingly, while they do not accept credit cards, they just send cash-strapped customers down the street to the ATM -- "just go get some cash and then come back and pay your bill"). We whiled away the day and then picked Dean up at school and made a couple more stops before going to an exquisite Japanese restaurant for dinner.

I wish for their sake that the place had been crowded, but on the other hand it was a Tuesday, it was early, and the weather had turned less-than-pleasant (sleet) by that time. We will definitely go back, and swoon once again at the fresher-than-fresh sushi, and perfect miso soup, and kindly attentive service.

And since it was a school night, and a work night, we headed home early and the boys put a candle on one of those cupcakes for me.

Middle age is an interesting territory.  I get it now, why some people kind of flip out at this point. Suddenly age isn't *just* a number, it starts to give you some very definite physical reminders of its presence -- the kind that remind you that you aren't getting any younger. There's no way to avoid the drive to take stock, to think about being in the back half. I only wish it all didn't fly by so quickly. Really -- the ONLY thing that gives me pause about being 51 is that it feels completely impossible for that much time to have passed. Slippery. inevitable, fleeting time.

But I refuse to let that stop me from being delighted on my birthday, and celebrating.

Celebrate what you want to see more of.  Aren't those words to live by?

Playing

I'm often enough delighted by the graphics that people post to Facebook; the funnies, the profound, the kind and gentle reminders about the joys in life. I thought I'd play around a little with the idea; for no particular reason today (well, other than perhaps to avoid things like housework and shoveling snow) I put this together quickly as a test. Harry Callahan taught at the Institute of Design in Chicago, where my mother was one of his students. I'm sorry to say that what comes up when you search his name is fairly disappointing (the Wiki entry is pathetic), but he was a master of the photography of *ordinary* things and moments (if there are any such things).

A repetition

He's coming!

 

Will you be ready? 

 

I have always loved Groundhog Day.  And really, what's not to love?  It is ancient and  mysterious and comes without any fanfare in your local shopping emporium!  It gives us some hope in the grip of winter, something fun and joyful and silly and profound.  It made for a great movie, too.

I'm not exactly sure how I managed to find a groundhog cookie cutter, but if you're feeling the need I see there's a similar one here.  I can't recommend the new recipe I tried for chocolate-espresso shortbread (way too dry), but if a deep dip in dark chocolate to represent that peek out from the burrow isn't appropriate AND taste-saving I don't know what is.

We'll be having fondue for dinner on Saturday, in front of a roaring fire and with that certain perfect movie on screen.

And I'll be thinking of my dad, who passed away 14 years ago on Feb 2.  I cannot believe it has been that long.  I still miss him and think of him every day.  And yet it's a little easier every year to smile when I think about all the jokes he would have made about passing away on Groundhog Day -- really, he would have found that endlessly amusing.

Celebrate the day, won't you? And let's hope he does not see his shadow....

Toasty

I think I baked my first loaf of bread when I was about 9 or 10 years old. My parents had a friend who was a bread baker who was happy to bake a batch with me, and back then (early '70s) homemade bread meant dense, dark loaves with lots of grains and "stuff" that made the bread healthy and clearly homemade. Not one single thing wrong with that, and I do still love those kinds of breads.

I've gone in and out with bread making over the years -- varying degrees of time to devote to it, and varying degrees of interest around the house in eating it. I do make pizza dough every Friday, but that's a story for another day.

So it happens that Dean gave me The Bread Bible for Christmas, and I set aside time over this past weekend to try out the recipe for hearth bread.  It was the first time I went through the "sponge" process where you put the beginnings together one day and let it sit overnight before beginning to actually make the final dough. Wow. I turned out a loaf that's wonderfully rich and dense, yet not heavy (does that make sense?) -- Dean and Ken both declared it "restaurant bread-basket worthy." None of the steps was difficult, but it did require being around on "day 2" to manage the various rises and all. Totally worth the effort.

And now I get at least a few days worth of my favorite breakfast -- toast made with good bread. A nice reason to have winter, I think.

New again

I'm pretty sure that someone I know made a new year's resolution to be nicer/friendlier. It's kind of funny (and fun, and pleasant) to be on the receiving end; she wasn't necessarily evil, or anything, before, but she's noticeably nicer these days. Do you think it will last? I'm trying to be supportive by being a happy receiver of her chipper greetings and her new "so how are YOU doing?!" efforts and also trying to make a point of giving back even more random friendliness to her.

Meanwhile, this could be the first year of my life (since about, maybe, age 12 or so?) that I haven't really made any resolutions. Nope. No grand (nor quiet) pronouncements on New Year's Eve, no carefully composed nor hastily scribbled list. I did say that my goal would be to have a party at some point this year (it's been since about forever that we've had a party, unless you count Dean's birthday parties which I don't think I am going to count), and I'd really like to make that happen. But otherwise, nope.

It's not that I lack for self-improvement ideas, or more, um, meaningful goals than throwing a party.

It's more that I've decided to trust myself. Yup, it's a good idea to get up and take a walk whenever possible. I know which foods to eat more of and which less. Getting more organized would always help, as would finishing up projects. But I don't need to make lists and feel guilty and give up or whatever. I just need to enjoy life and be happy and balance doing the things I know I should, the things I need to do, the things I want to do. Do it because it's right/meaningful/necessary (or decide purposefully what NOT to do), but not because it's on a list hanging over my head.

As I get older, I am slowly appreciating more that being happy is what matters, and that there are all kinds of voices in my head that I need to shut OUT in order to just enjoy life. That nagging vague dissatisfaction (which can get driven by making too many lists!) is the thing that I am trying to cast out. Not getting all hyper-ventilate-y over having things go a certain way. Whatever! It CAN be all good, if that's how I decide to look at things.

Who knows how often I'll get here to post? I like being able to come here sometimes and look back at where I've been, and that's my incentive to keep putting things here from time to time. Happy to have you along for the ride, if and when your own spirit moves you.

Resolved!

And I may still do a 2012 in review here, because there's no such thing as "too late."

Keep making merry

The holidays aren't over, even if the big day has passed; we keep eating cookies and playing games and are enjoying being home with no agenda other than to celebrate. Hope it's cozy and calm by you.

For every mom I know