Monday, April 16, 2007

Slices of life

Since starting my blog, I have not done a single scrapbook page nor a single entry/collage in my hardcopy journal. I've certainly done more sewing than in recent years, and I've been recording certain aspects of my life here in a way I hadn't been doing before. It's frustrating not to have the time to do everything, but life's always choices, right?

I'm mulling all this over -- am I okay with the things I've been giving up in favor of blog time? I've written before about all the wonderful things I feel I've gained, but there's always some loss, too. I've had a hard time even with my own journal, trying to find the line between what I want to record, remember, and reflect upon and what I do (or don't) want to share with others. My grandmother Ellamae used to keep a diary, and part of her New Year's Eve tradition was to burn that year's diary. I was horrified by this when I was younger, but now I can think I understand -- she didn't want any of us to have access to that part of her after she was gone. I try to work things out honestly and openly in my journal (when I even bother to make the time to put anything in it) but I know I temper it in case it ever is read without me there to explain. And of course a blog (especially for someone as private as I am) is a small, small, heavily edited slice of the life. I'm thinking, too, about the blogs I come across where someone has decided to split off some topics to a separate blog, or the others where someone has decided to abandon a second effort to pull it all back into one main blog. At first I was mystified why someone would (a) want to maintain more than one blog and (b) why someone would think the topics and/or audiences were so separate as to warrant the division. Further into it all now, I think I can understand that a little more -- the desire to separate out parts of our lives (avoiding the whole Seinfeld "worlds colliding" thing). But it's all one collision, no matter how hard we try.

This image is one from my recently abandoned journal; I'm trying to get inspired to take it up again. Relatedly (or not?) Kahne commented that she was surprised by the picture of me -- I didn't look the way she thought I would. I think that's kind of why I put it up there, in the spirit of more full disclosure -- that this is literally who I am. Now I just need to decide what it is that I'm doing; any ideas? Apparently anything but cleaning is possible.


Helen Conway said...

I too have far less in my paper journals since I started blogging. But far more in a seperate journal I started for quiting records ( prosaic stuff like fabric purchases, books, what quilt was swen when) which has morphed just a little bit into quilting thoughts too. But having mused on your piece I am minded not to think of one as 'lapsed' but as the three element as pieces of a whole (a tryptch if you want a quilting analogy or perhaps one of those duvets where we clip togther the weight that suits us for the seasons).

In fact there are almost four elements now as many of the swaps I have either joined or hosted on Swap-bot are journal like letters but I don't even keep those musings - out they go to the big wide world!

I too struggle with choices - I wonder if there is a good self help book out there about how to make them. The ones I have read all start with naming your priorities. Well yes, but how do you choose your priorities?!!So much life to live, so short a life in which to do it!

But I will choose this week to sit and write in my paper journal so thanks for the inspiration

Felicia said...

Yep, its all about choices. Having the blog lets me read things over and see things from a more objective point of view. I started two other blogs before this current one that were very narrow in scope but they didn't last more than six months. I'm thinking that its because it couldn't share much more about myself in them. I'm really enjoying my new blog and sharing more things about my life and town although, like you, I feel somewhat hesitant to do so. I'm glad you're blogging!