Real Simple magazine runs reader profiles as the last page these days -- they remind me very much of the old Dewar's Profile ads (do you remember those? classics in advertising). Anyway, I tore out a quotation from one -- reader Diane Israel said:
Show up fully.
Pay attention.
Tell the truth.
Let go of the outcome.
I saved it and posted it on my board because I so believe in and live by the first three -- what's hard for me is the letting go part. But I'm working on it. I had a conversation with my boss today, and he was speaking to me about someone else -- of her he said "sure, she compromises -- but she also keeps score; nobody realizes that all those years of compromise have in her mind a price -- she has a score to settle now, whereas everyone else thought those things were water under the bridge." I thought about how he COULD have been talking about me. And in mulling it over I think it's not the compromising I've got wrong but the keeping score part, and I see that relating to the "let go of the outcome" piece, too. Do you know how to let go? Any pointers?
3 comments:
YOu could try the yoga mediation technique of observing yourfeelings. I suspect that the scores are actually feelings of being owed or feeling you desreve somthing back and aren't getting it, or feelings of being let down or whatever type of feelings. With yoga mediation you breath and as you start to think about these things you teach yourself to observe how that feeling makes you feel in your body so that the feeling becomes externalised and transient. You remind yourself that a feeling is just that - a feeling, nothing concrete or definate. Somehow that disempowers its hold over your life..... not sure I explained that terribley wel but hopefully you get the drift. I worked for me with a bout of sadness. you learn to say - oh look, here's that bout of sadness again, look at what its like, what a funny, thing that will pass. Thats the key - all feelings pass in time.
Pretty sure I couldn't be much help in this arena. I'm a total control freak.
I've always been able to let things go. I wish I could tell you why. My mother was good at it. My dad.....not so good. So, did I just get those genes from my mom or did I just follow her example?? I don't know. I do know that life is a whole lot easier when you can let things go.
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