Monday, March 26, 2007

Dumb luck

How great is this? I asked my mom if she had any old apron patterns she could send me, and in a box filled with frog and mouse parts (the fabric kind, along with those patterns) she sent me this. Tie One On Apron fans, do you see that rick-rack? Right in the pattern -- it calls for rick-rack! While I've yet to make an apron, this business has been a one-thing-leads-to-another challenge that has me a little hung up. (I find a big, juicy hunk of nice, heavyweight cotton purchased from Laura Ashley years and years ago and think it's a nice weight for an apron, but then am loathe to cut it because it is such a nice coupla yards of material and I think -- is this how I most want to use it, to make an apron? -- then I start imagining the thing I'd really like to make from it [a kimono-style top] and I find a pattern for same [although not exactly as I had pictured it, but close], then I wonder if this top with this fabric is too ambitious -- will the linear pattern of rows of perfect little tulips show off my lack of precise sewing skills so that I end up with no apron and a kimono-style top that I'm embarrassed to wear because I've made such a hack of it? And at this moment on my dining room table is the fabric with half of the kimono-top pattern pinned to it and I have to make a decision because we're having company for dinner tonight and I STILL haven't made an apron. Plus I never accurately measured the hunk of fabric so I don't even know yet for sure if I have enough of it for the top.) Ah, the dark side.

And I have all these dark thoughts particularly because I have been under one of my dark clouds of stupidity the past couple of days. I did some weird mixes of laundry, even thinking to myself, "hmmm, should I really toss all of this in together?" and then I do it anyway and of course now I have a tablecloth that's been dyed, unintentionally, a really weird shade of pink/red. I *think* that the dye transfer was even enough that I can still use the cloth (you know what I mean? how sometimes when things over-dye they look all splotchy and horrible and sometimes you do manage to get a nice, even coat of the color?) but every time I see it I will remember that I knew I shouldn't have washed it with that other jacket and that I did it anyway. To my family, I will pretend it was time for a change. And this one -- yesterday, I bought a yard of white, 100% wool felt (I was at Joann's for the kimono-top pattern and had a coupon that expired yesterday so I HAD to) and I brought it home (drumroll, please) and threw IT in the washer and dryer thinking I'd felt it -- but it already WAS felt. Oh please. Re-felting felt is, ah, not recommended. And oh, did it smell awful when I pressed it with a too-hot iron, trying to bring it back to some usable condition. It'll be interesting to see what I come up with for that. Don't try this at home.

It's not so much that I mind when I make mistakes. That seems human enough. But when I stop before doing something to consider if I really should do the thing or not, and then I go ahead and DO the stupid thing anyway -- this drives me insane. "I knew I shouldn't do it!" I moan, and I have the depressing knowledge that this will continue to be my story -- if I haven't stopped by now, I don't expect there's hope. I think I have this inner sense of luckiness -- that I can do things and get away with them because there is a measure of truth there, too -- but I wear it thin. Here's hoping today goes better.


Kate said...

I hope today goes better too, I'm always making mistakes like that too when I think I've thought it through. Great apron pattern - love the gathers at the top.

Felicia said...

You need to learn to listen to your gut instinct and then act on it. Think about how groovy its going to be when you get that apron made.

Jennifer said...

Thanks so much for the encouraging words!!

amanda bel said...

Whoa! I just found that exact same pattern at my grandma's house last Monday! I took it home with me, of course, (but we shall see if I ever get around to using it!)